Sunday, September 14, 2008


Shyness is nothing but a form of social fear. Like any other emotion shyness is also experienced by body. Shyness is a sensation of uneasiness experienced by your body which is most often habitual. Your body goes into an automatic response of shyness by feeling uneasy when you are in new social situations including people of opposite sex. This bodily sensations prevents you from expressing yourself optimally or experience life optimally.

I was a shy person in my childhood, adolescence, and early twenties. I know that I was not shy when I was a small child. This habitual response of shyness has been something which I learned subconsciously due to my ADHD and sensitive nature. This is the reason why I could never enjoy school or college. This shyness had a positive effect on me as I use to read a lot and ponder about the ideas and information I got through reading. Though I am not completely free of shyness, I can say I am living a comfortable life both personally and socially and I very rarely feel shy.

After reading many books on self development, it is my belief that these books are good to gain information but most often we cannot use the information because the information is too much and using it in daily life is like preparing full course dinner. It is very difficult to live our lives with recipes for success in our hands making sure that we haven't missed anything. It was always my imagination and how I used my body rescued me from feeling the fear called shyness. No I am not going to give you some tips of steps to follow in order to feel more comfortable in social situations. It is my belief due to may experience that our imagination and the way we use our body is responsible for our shyness.

Negative thinking is one of the reasons for shyness. Thinking about failure and being ridiculed for is the cause for shyness. Thinking about success gives us motivation and a want to be in social situations. The other way is to use our body vigorously with wide gestures and talking aloud. Making these two mental and physical habits slowly drives away your shyness.

I was a smoker and used to smoke always before entering my office. I use to live in fear of something going wrong because of my work. This went on for four years. To cool my nerves, I used to smoke before entering the office. The realization that nothing actually went wrong in all those four years and it was stupidity of me to think negatively, changed my life in my office, and I become a star employee. Shyness is also because of the same reason, wrong thought pattern and using body in tune with the thought pattern. Change both, and you are free of shyness.

Can you feel shy in high-heel shoes and tight jeans or can you feel shy in military uniform.... I don't think so. Let me know if I am wrong.  As one of the ways to overcome shyness I changed the way I dress including the shoes I wear and this tactic helped me a lot in feeling great in social situations.  Use your body greatly, feel great, shyness and social anxiety will run away from you.  BTW do not forget that practice makes everyone perfect.

These are some of the ways I used to overcome shyness.  If you know some more please feel free to share in the comments.

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